


Considerations

by ElizabethWilde



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-07-10
Updated: 2001-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 06:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1930608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethWilde/pseuds/ElizabethWilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rogue thinks about how much she has changed since Logan's departure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Considerations

It's funny in a sick kinda way that when I finally found a bunch of teenagers who I can finally act mostly normal around, my brain's too old to be one of them. Most people 'round here think it's just me havin' had Logan in my head. He's still there, of course, but that's not it at all, really. I guess I just learned a little too much too fast. Bobby looked in my eyes one day and told me I have an old soul. He's right. I try to be young sometimes. I play games with Bobby and Kitty and Jubes, but most of the time I'd rather talk to someone older.

Jean's probably been the best friend I've ever had my whole life. After Logan left, she'd come into my room some nights like she just knew I needed her. Sometimes she'd even stay up with me all night because I was scared to sleep. Now I know why Logan didn't ever sleep sound. I think it makes Scott nervous how close we are, like he's afraid whatever there is of Logan in me is trying to put the moves on Jean. That doesn't have much at all to do with it, though there was a time when I couldn't help but stare at her cleavage when she'd come in wearin' those silky nightgowns. I don't do it so much anymore.

The main reason we get along so well is that she doesn't think of me as a kid. When she talks to me, she does it the same as if she was talkin' to the Professor or Storm, and she listens to what I have to say without teasin' or lookin' bored. It helps. I'm not sure why she's so nice, but I think it has something to do with her missin' Logan a little bit. I miss him most of the time. Been gone almost two years and it feels like forever, especially with him still up in my head and his dogtags around my neck.

I asked Jean one night if she thought he was gonna come back. She was quiet for so long I thought she'd fallen asleep, but when I looked at her, she was starin' off into the dark with a sad kinda look in her eyes. "I don't know, Rogue. I hope so." That's all. We didn't talk the rest of the night, but neither one of us fell asleep. 

Just realized that Logan's probably what I think about must of the time. I think about my books and classes sometimes. Sometimes I think about Jean or Bobby or the Professor. Mostly I think about Logan and miss him. I wonder if he'd even recognize me now. It's not so much that I look different--though I have changed some--but that I feel different. I am different.

Maybe he's different too.


End file.
